You are beautiful and I appreciate all that you do. I know we are a bother and you probably wish that we had not moved so close. Sometimes it is just hard to be around everyone and yet inside ourself feel not a part of what is going on. It is nothing on you but all on me.
I envy your commitment, your spirit and light. That through all of lifes troubles you seem to stay strong in the faith and committed to your family. Others of us are just not that strong. We just don't have the ability to fit in and always feel the outsider no matter the situation.
I have the problems and the issues for I am so far from perfect. It is hard to be me sometimes, in a family of such beautiful people and you are the only one overweight and not beautiful. Like the ugly duckling who never got to be the swan. Maybe I am just in a funk with so much pressure that this was the outlet. but as you once said about your blog this is my outlet and if you don't like it I am sorry but it all can't be happiness and light all of the time.
My Meemer, take heart, I do love you and I respect all that you do. You are my best friend and I did not mean to hurt your feelings. You are so beautiful, fun, interesting, loving and most of all the best sister I could have ever wished or hoped for.
Forgive me-
2 comments:
don't worry. my blog does serve it's purpose to help me work through my issues too.
i do love you. i don't feel your family is a bother. in fact we have loved having you guys close. i hated it when i got married and moved away from everyone. with only my in laws close it was so hard. i felt very much alone. and it always seemed that everyone else was getting together without me.
nobody is perfect. i have my flaws and my doubts and my discouragment. there are days when i hate me. days when i don't want to get out of bed. i think that is normal. at least i hope it is. i think that it is okay. but never think that we don't love you.
you are the most thoughtful person i know. and you are always there when someone needs help. don't you know how much this means to people? i never am that way. i am too wrapped up in my own world to see what i can do for someone else.
it just makes me sad when you are down on yourself. i look at you as an example. especially of what i can become. i look at what you have been through and what your struggles are with your health. you have no idea how much fun we have with you guys. we tend to let the ball drop sometimes. we are so not outgowing. really we are boring and always just doing.
please don't feel bad. i think this was a good way to help me step things up. i can't give you much, but i can tell you that i think you are pretty great, and that i wish you could see the same person i see.
maybe we really could just use a night out, or a day shopping. tell me your next day off, and i'll get a sitter for fuss and we can just go do some girly stuff. will you please? even if we just go out to lunch or something. or dinner. or something! i know i need it.
That sounds great. I have had trouble making sure I could arrange a day off. I work saturday the 15th of november so I will have monday the 17th off. Ty is willing to babysit so that we could go and not have to worry about kids. She could even pick the boys up from school and such. Think about it.
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