Always the last to know

D comes from a big family. He is the second to the oldest of six boys and two girls. Needless to say the family has gotten bigger as you add in wives and husbands and kids. I love his family but when compared to mine it is so very different. 

My parents are always willing to help. Whenever we need help or even just a shoulder they are always there. They never forget a birthday, anniversary, event or whatever is going on in our lives. They call weekly if they have not heard from us just to make sure that we are all okay. The kids love them and I know I can depend on them. 

D's parents are much different. Granted they are a bit older but they never call and we seldom hear from them. We do not see them very often, even when they visit D's sister who lives 30 min away from us. They remember the kids birthdays (usually) sometimes D's but never mine. His siblings are all over the place but nobody really keeps in touch other than the guys who play some dumb computer game together on-line. It just feels like you are not important to them. I am sure that they love D and the kids in their own way but so often it is really hard when D needs that family connection and so often he is left out. 

Why am I musing, many would appreciate the lack of interest from their inlaws. I guess it was the traditional we need money request that happens this time of year. D's siblings go together for a gift for his parents each year. I do not mind going in on a gift it saves me time trying to figure out gift I can get them (D is no help) that they will hate this year (I try to be creative, it never works). My problem is that his siblings are all about asking for money but yet we never get to participate in the choosing of the gift. It feels so much like all we are good for is the cash. D did say his brother asked him for suggestions but I think it was more an afterthought when the decision was already made. 

I get angry and frustrated because his mom and dad are missing out on so much of four really great kids. They have never seen either  Ty or Boo play in a concert, Boo play soccer or participate in any thing with my kids. They did not come to Ty's high school graduation. These are such memorable and important things and just makes me feel bad that they miss out on these great events. I know they live three hours away but it is still tough to see them miss out by their own choosing. In doing so they are also missing out on a really great son. A caring wonderful guy who tries so hard to be a good dad, husband and friend. 

I guess this teaches me to be a better parent, to treasure each moment and as my kids grow up and embark on the next steps in their life, the parent or grandparent I want to be in their future.

To my parents, Thank you for always being there. For all the times you have bailed us out come to our rescue moved our furniture and loaned D tools. For all of the great things you share with us and the time you are willing to give. Thank you for all of your love support and being you. You guys are great and I am so glad that you are my mom and dad. I love you both.